Written February 28, 2023
Imagine walking into a business meeting and wanting to close a deal, and keeping your head down a lot, not making eye contact, and fidgeting. The other people you’re trying to strike a deal with may pick up on this nervousness, or unsureness, lack of confidence, lack of directness, and then you may lose the deal.
You could be totally brilliant and have the best deal on the table, but you also don’t want to come off as someone indecisive, indirect – that would make me nervous to enter business with someone who’s body language gave that off. I would likely think, “well, if this person isn’t confident in this deal, why should I be?” Or maybe I would think “this person doesn’t take this seriously…” or “this person lacks competence.”
Body Language
Our bodies give off pieces of information about ourselves, how we are feeling, thinking, etc., to others in remarkable ways.
Purposefully avoiding eye contact with someone may communicate to the other person a lack of confidence or even deceit. Not being able to be still, fidgeting around also may give this same impression off. Overall, it may be a show of a lack of competence.
It's important to know what impression you're giving off (in any setting), but particularly in business, and building lasting relationships. We can work on these things, improve them, and positively change our interactions with others!
Competence
Competence is really important, although I know it sounded kind of harsh the way I just used it. But bear with me, I am trying. So, as simple as I can illustrate it, you wouldn’t go to an accountant after you get ill or injured…that is simply because an accountant is not competent in the area you seek assistance in.
The accountant is completely competent…but likely not in the field of medicine; and thus, we wouldn’t think of an accountant giving medical advice as someone who is “competent” in the medical field. (This is the best example I could come up with, take it as it resonates – discard what doesn’t).
Lying
Our body is constantly working, picking up on every smell, movement, sound, etc., around us. We don’t realize that our bodies also communicate nonverbally.
So, for example, I’ve observed many people’s bodies change (noticeably) when they are lying. It is like our bodies DO NOT LIKE to lie, and physically manifests this dislike in some form.
I remember watching a former white house press secretary speak at a conference, and I could see her body just totally detest and disagree with the words being spoken. Our bodies do not like lies!
Also, lies are exhausting; they're hard to remember. So, many people will instead give a "true" version of a story and just leave out pieces and portions they don't want revealed. It's not “lying” per se… just something they conveniently “left out” or “forgot to mention.” I didn’t really think much into false confessions until I did my externship at the Innocence Project. I wrote a law review article that included studies about the misidentification of suspects and more, a topic for another day.
Nevertheless, the main point being: our emotions, energy, attitude, whatever is within us, can also be picked up by others. Ever heard the saying: “a smile is contagious…” well because it is. One thing we can start doing to improve our body language and how others interpret us is to smile more…(not in a creepy way), but do what works for you.
Approachability
Also, you want to be approachable too, right? So, you could be smiling, but if your arms are crossed and your eyes are roaming around, it probably isn’t your best bet. So, are your arms crossed a lot? Maybe work on that. Studies have shown people with their arms crossed come off less approachable. Again, everyone is different, and you just have to experiment with what works for you. Have fun with it.
What's your body language saying about you?
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Faith
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