Written: March 1, 2023
Introduction
Throughout my research, and personal observations, I have found that much of the conflicts and disputes that arise in our lives, is likely based off of a misunderstanding, miscommunication, misinterpretation, etc. Point being, there was an error in the way of conveyance, how it was delivered, and could have nothing to do with the actual message itself.
Misunderstanding Body Language
“The Homeless Man and My Blind Date,” is a short, true story that I wrote which goes a little deeper into understanding human behavior and communication…and it is a great story. It is available on Amazon & Audible; or e-mail me for a copy. The point being, that we don’t always properly perceive and interpret the situations we’re in and the conversations we engage in.
In my last blog post, “Are you Approachable? Impacts of Our Body Language;” I introduced the topic of body language and briefly discussed how important it is in any setting we are communicating. This could be communication done consciously or unconsciously – a topic for a different day. For now, let’s cover non-verbal communication.
Text & Digital Communication
We likely misinterpret, misunderstand our communication with other more than we even realize. This is due to many factors. One factor being, much of the communication is now done through text or digitally, rather than face-to-face or on a telephone call.
In my personal experience, I do not like digital messaging unless it is for a short and sweet message, a quick confirmation – whatever. I feel, personally, the messages I am communicating are better conveyed in person or over the telephone where the other person can either both: see and hear me, pick up on my vibe; or at the very least, over the phone, the other person can hear my tone of voice, so it is less likely to be misinterpreted if sent over a text.
Non-verbal Communication
What is non-verbal communication? Well, you may have guessed it! Any unspoken communication, movement, gesture, expression, etc. would be considered a non-verbal communication or form of non-verbal communication.
So, an example could be as simple as when you walk past a colleague, or even a stranger walking by, you may give slight smile, a nod, a form of acknowledgment to this person, but in a non-verbal way. Is this making sense?
Or, you may smile at the stranger walking by…AND give them eye contact at the same time! This is another form of non-verbal communication that we are constantly engaged in, but not always fully aware of it.
Eye Contact
The way we look at others, our eye contact conveys a variety of different messages and meanings. It is really neat to learn about if this is something interesting to you. A study done, which I’ve included the source/citation, discusses how our eye contact can be correlated to how one perceives how intelligent we are.
Wheeler, R.W., Baron, J.C., Michell, S. et al. Eye contact and the perception of intelligence. Bull. Psychon. Soc. 13, 101–102 (1979). https://doi.org/10.3758/BF03335025
So, it is extremely important, if you want to better your communication (non-verbal and verbal), that you first get an understanding of the common displays of body language that you give off, intentionally or not. First, begin with non-verbals. Are your arms crossed? Are you looking up or down? Research has also studied that when a person is gazing up or looking upwards, they are usually thinking.
A Brief Conclusion
I know that I can just give my cat a look and he will know exactly what I am saying. Does this happen with you and your pets? It is non-verbal communication. Start identifying your “go to non-verbals.” Do you smile a lot? How do you stand? Are you slouched? Where are your hands? Take them out of your pockets please.
Anyway, this is just to get you to begin thinking of ways that your body communicates to the world and identify them. Then, once we know the communication methods we use, we can start positively changing the ways we communicate and also, begin to have some fun with it. Instead of approaching a conversation one way, you may second guess the way you approach it, and have an entirely different and better interaction because of it.
I hope this was informative.
Stay well.
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Faith
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